a bit homesick

tomorrow i'll be with my aunt most of the day. she's going to run some errands and i'll be tagging along. i know for sure we're going to the library, i'll be looking forward to knowing where that is. i was pretty down today after watchmen. seems like in all our moves over the years, i've had a good attitude toward the new environment. but this time, i'm just not enjoying it. i hope this gets better, i hope i start enjoying this. i have to find a niche here.. something to keep me sane. i have to find the organizations that will provide some fulfillment. you're going to be in southern california, what's not to love they say. but i feel like i'm in a concrete copy of houston where the roads are surrounded by huge concrete shopping centers, and there's not a unique business in sight. nothing draws me to want to look further. all brand names. large streets, even larger intersections, huge shiney cars whose drivers speed past me just to slow down and meet me at the next red light. and our neighbors seem to have a case of the 'keeping up with the jones' syndrome on acid. people around here can't park in their own garages cos their garages are full of stuff that won't fit in their own houses. it's noisy, and the roads are cluttered with signs and billboards, every business trying to one-up the next with a bigger more aggressive sign to win over the competition. maybe i'm just cranky and after a few months here none of this will bother me like it does now.

maybe i'm just longing for a smaller street with quaint unique home-grown businesses where i can stop after work for a coffee, read my book and listen to a guy strummin' an acoustic guitar in the background. and i can go back there everyday and feel like i somehow belong.